BRA SIZE, TOILETS & LANYARDS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, in the AIRPORT on our way to MARRAKECH at the DUTY FREE, purchasing a litre and a half of GIN and Veronica a litre and a half of VODKA; the assistant asked for my PASSPORT at the same time scratching her chest.
“My new BRA is really ITCHY” she said “do you know what I can do about it?”

image

“It’s new so it has something called ‘SIZE’ in it. Wash it and it will be fine.”

“I knew you’d know what to do, thanks”

Really!

Veronica is causing a kerfuffle at the other till as she can’t find her PASSPORT.
“I’ve lost it” she panics whilst rummaging in her bag.
Dour assistant says “So, you don’t want this now then?” Holding up the VODKA.
“Of course I want it” snaps an exasperated Veronica.
I had a further rummage and quickly find her passport.
Big sigh from dour assistant “So you want it now do you?”

Emptying two bottles of water in the TOILETS and filling them at the sink with GIN/VODKA & TONIC someone came in.  So engrossed it took a while before we realised we were being watched. Giggling like naughty schoolgirls whilst concentrating on our pouring we told her about our clever wheeze.

image

image

Arms folded over her LANDYARD and AIRPORT uniform, (which we’d just noticed) she admonishes us saying IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA and we have been seen on the CCTV!

Stuffing the bottles in our bags we made our escape and headed for the departure gate.

Yours Flyingly

Celia

p.s. More of Marrakech later

CELIA & VERONICA ON THE ROAD TO MARRAKECH

CELIA & VERONICA ON THE ROAD TO MARRAKECH. Yes my dear ladies and occasional gentleman my dear friend Veronica and I are off on an ADVENTURE to MARRAKECH.

Why? You may ask. Well we are FLYING there for a BIRTHDAY PARTY for one of our fellow FANNYS. We are so HOLLYWOOD!

I’m hoping for a new MOROCCAN CARPET for the sitting room. My thinking is I could get a lovely one in EXCHANGE for my dear friend VERONICA, who is a BLONDE-HAIRED, BLUE-EYED, CURVACIOUS LADY.

image

After all who wants a camel?

Yours Exotically

Celia

p.s. Come to think of it there is a resemblance. I think it’s the smile.

HELLO GRANNY

image

HELLO GRANNY. Here I am my dear ladies and occasional gentleman meeting my new granddaughter.

I can hear you all now “AAH, OOH, CUTE”

She is as you can see ADORABLE and Ronald and I are very lucky to add her to our existing PIGEON PAIR of grandchildren.

My dear friend HER MAJ has already sent a MINION from the Palace to ASPREYS for a little TRINKET as a gift.

The gift of grandchildren is a blessing.

Yours Cuddlingly

Celia

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

What a week my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
A table tennis table that has been wall-leaning for TWO YEARS decided to leap off and land on Trigger first then me, at rehearsals.

As if that wasn’t enough, yesterday whilst sat on my office chair with wheels on a shiny floor I sat on the edge leant forward to put a file on a shelf, the chair flew backwards and I seemingly in slow motion gravitated to the floor leaving my arm wedged up in the air trapped by the desk and the shelf.

I am going to go and break something today because things come in threes BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.

Yours Achingly

Celia

P.S. And before you cast Nasturtiums Veronica, I had not partaken of a little tipple!

ED’S SMALL BUSH

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, this morning I was speechless, which doesn’t happen very often.

*The Shadow Chancellor said he always asked for a written record even if it was for £10 to trim a hedge – because it was the ‘right thing to do’.* This was to stop CASH-IN-HAND payments to people who may not be paying tax on it.

It appears his PRIORITIES are in chasing poor Joe Blogs on a LOW INCOME trying to keep his family fed and a roof over their heads INSTEAD of chasing the HUGE COMPANIES for CORPORATION TAX AVOIDANCE.

£10 to trim a hedge, he obviously has a small BUSH!
image
I HOPE THAT’S NOT A STARBUCKS!

Yours Disgruntedly

Celia

*Courtesy of the Daily Mail* (I never thought I would be saying that!)
Image courtesy of The Guardian.

PELVIC FLOORS AT WATERGATE BAY

PELVIC FLOORS AT WATERGATE BAY. What larks, dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

My dear lady friends and I went for a delightful lunch at my dear friend little JAMIE OLIVER’s restaurant 21 at WATERGATE BAY, Cornwall.
image

Whilst chatting Lady Louisa encouraged us to work our PELVIC , FLOORS, Ronald washes my laminate at least twice a week and I think that’s sufficient.

She was complaining her husband woke her up at 5.0’clock in the morning alert and ready. I suggest she leaves him a list at the side of the bed and then she can carry on sleeping whilst he gets on with it.

Everything will be spick and span before she knows it. A handy household tip.

More of our day out later.

Yours Yummily

Celia