HELLO GRANNY. Here I am my dear ladies and occasional gentleman meeting my new granddaughter.
I can hear you all now “AAH, OOH, CUTE”
She is as you can see ADORABLE and Ronald and I are very lucky to add her to our existing PIGEON PAIR of grandchildren.
My dear friend HER MAJ has already sent a MINION from the Palace to ASPREYS for a little TRINKET as a gift.
The gift of grandchildren is a blessing.
What a week my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
A table tennis table that has been wall-leaning for TWO YEARS decided to leap off and land on Trigger first then me, at rehearsals.
As if that wasn’t enough, yesterday whilst sat on my office chair with wheels on a shiny floor I sat on the edge leant forward to put a file on a shelf, the chair flew backwards and I seemingly in slow motion gravitated to the floor leaving my arm wedged up in the air trapped by the desk and the shelf.
I am going to go and break something today because things come in threes BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.
P.S. And before you cast Nasturtiums Veronica, I had not partaken of a little tipple!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, this morning I was speechless, which doesn’t happen very often.
*The Shadow Chancellor said he always asked for a written record even if it was for £10 to trim a hedge – because it was the ‘right thing to do’.* This was to stop CASH-IN-HAND payments to people who may not be paying tax on it.
It appears his PRIORITIES are in chasing poor Joe Blogs on a LOW INCOME trying to keep his family fed and a roof over their heads INSTEAD of chasing the HUGE COMPANIES for CORPORATION TAX AVOIDANCE.
£10 to trim a hedge, he obviously has a small BUSH!
I HOPE THAT’S NOT A STARBUCKS!
*Courtesy of the Daily Mail* (I never thought I would be saying that!)
Image courtesy of The Guardian.
PELVIC FLOORS AT WATERGATE BAY. What larks, dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
My dear lady friends and I went for a delightful lunch at my dear friend little JAMIE OLIVER’s restaurant 21 at WATERGATE BAY, Cornwall.
Whilst chatting Lady Louisa encouraged us to work our PELVIC , FLOORS, Ronald washes my laminate at least twice a week and I think that’s sufficient.
She was complaining her husband woke her up at 5.0’clock in the morning alert and ready. I suggest she leaves him a list at the side of the bed and then she can carry on sleeping whilst he gets on with it.
Everything will be spick and span before she knows it. A handy household tip.
More of our day out later.
PARSNIPS AND PROCLIVITIES
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I was in bed this morning quietly dozing when Ronald started his usual morning PROCLIVITIES.
“What are we having for dinner?”
I suggested COTTAGE PIE with CURLY KALE and ROAST PARSNIP
“In a PEAR tree?” replied Ronald.
I’m booking him in for a hearing test.
BONDAGE FOR BEGINNERS, that my dear ladies and occasional gentleman was the item on daytime television ‘THIS MORNING’ this morning.
I was expecting sections on COOKING, FASHION, and HOME DECOR but definitely not BONDAGE. This is a sample of the items on offer:
Thankfully Ronald was engrossed in his book ‘The Twilight Home for Retired Gentlemen’.
After a section of SPRING FASHION with GOK it moved on to BONDAGE FOR THE ADVANCED! As soon as PHILLIP SCHOFIELD picked up these
Ronald perked up and said “that’s what you need dear’
“What”? Says I
“ROW MARKERS for your knitting” says he.
FEATHERLITE TWITTERS IN THE WOMENS INSTITUTE.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman WHAT LARKS! This evening I attended a local WOMENS INSTITUTE quiz. I can hear you thinking “what a boring evening” but NO you would be wrong.
There are hidden depths to these ladies, they may live in DEEPEST DARKEST DEVON but they know how to ‘KICK OVER THE TRACES’ and enjoy themselves.
Our team consisted of five ladies and one occasional gentleman, who at one stage got a little stern with me, which I will be honest created a little FRISSON between us but before you could say PRE-RAPHAELITES his wife established ownership by announcing they were off on a FERRY to FRANCE in the morning.
But I digress, the highlight of the evening was, when we were given a sheet of LOGOS to name and this picture was one of them.
The ASHREIGNEY WOMENS INSTITUTE decided it was
DUREX FEATHERLITE CONDOMS.
Now we know what those ladies get up to and I don’t think it has anything to do with ‘JAM & JERUSALEM’!